i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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