so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize