Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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