Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
