You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
