the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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