I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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