Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
