I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
