he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
