I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
