Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
