The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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