I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
