PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I understand Curling. That high.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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