I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize