Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
