hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
