and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
