Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
