do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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