this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
