just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
