that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
