Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
