Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
