Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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