Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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