AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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