Having a random hookup so left but love u
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
