he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize