I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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