Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
