I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize