he puts the penis in happiness.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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