it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
