all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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