Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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