Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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