She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
