im having a threesome with these popsicles
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had sex on a roof
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
