she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize