Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
