she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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