So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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