Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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