wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
