I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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