Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
