Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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