I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
