Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize