I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she told me i tasted like america
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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