Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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