Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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