how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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