as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
