You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
