That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
