fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
