I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
